...but I'm just so dang proud of my little guy, I have to brag a bit.
After two grueling weeks of crying it out, I think we've finally succeeded.
We started the process on Wednesday, October 5th. And after several days/nights of crying after he went down, he seemed to be getting the hang of it. Granted he would still cry a bit each time, but each night the crying lasted a little less.
He had one great night of sleep where he didn't wake up at all. And it seemed like we were approaching the goal line.
But then we started getting of schedule...staying out late...past bedtime, past last bottle time...and things started to go south pretty quick.
So this past Saturday I decided we were starting over. But this time, we were going to do it for real -- really commit.
So we put Nick in his pj's, had his last bottle, a big burp, and then into his crib he went. He had fallen asleep in my arms, but true to form, woke up the minute we inched near his crib. Like it was radiating bad ju-ju vibes. He instantly started screaming the minute he got in the crib. And continued for damn near a full hour.
But once again, after that hour was up, he fell asleep and slept like a brick.
Sunday night was the same ordeal (Plus a bath -- we do bath night every other night...boy has his momma's sensitive skin, and frankly I don't see the need to bathe an 8 month old every night...he's seriously lacking in the body hair and body odor department so whats the point?). He hit the crib mattress and started the sobs. This time they started out less angry and violent, and more like the pouty, bottom lip stuck out, little tiny "wahs" he gives when he's just not feelin' something. This turned into his regular full body screams, and lasted just over 40 minutes.
But he slept like a log again.
Monday night he seemed off. Fussy all evening...refusing to eat dinner...just not himself. We did the same bedtime routine, and then he passed out in my arms. So I put him in his crib asleep, and magically he didn't wake up the minute he felt the mattress. I even walked downstairs to stick out my chest and declare to Todd that I was the master. As I entered the living room, Todd looked confused and said "is he not crying?" and before I could even gloat, deflated me with "well that won't last long". Snarkily, I replied "we'll see". But he was right. Less than 15 minutes later, Nick woke up and started screaming. And this screaming sounded HORRIBLE.
However, being too afraid to ruin the sleep training, I let him cry for as long as I could stand it. I watched the monitor in agony as Nick contorted his body into all kinds of shapes, rolled from one end of the mattress to the other, back to front, searched for his pacifier, and continued screaming as he put it in his mouth. This made me want to throw up. Usually when he screams during CIO, he stays in one position (on his belly) occasionally rolling to one side, but mostly just crying until he can't hold his little head up any longer, and then lays it down and falls asleep.
Finally after an hour of screaming, I could tell he was getting tired, but couldn't get comfortable. I went in, rubbed his back for about 30 seconds, which completely calmed him down, and then I left. As soon as I left, he picked his head back up and cried for about 15 seconds, and then passed out.
That same night, around 3:00am, he woke up crying again. I let him cry it out, and it lasted all of about 10 minutes before he went back to sleep. But I couldn't help but think how that was unusual for him to cry in the middle of the night after crying himself to sleep.
When I went in to wake him up that morning, my suspicions were confirmed. Poor guy must've gone to bed with a bad tummy ache (hello fussing and refusal to eat dinner?!), because he had pooped enough to fill his entire diaper. Which of course meant there was nowhere for all that pee to go, but out. So his jammies were soaked, his sheets and mattress pad were soaked, and his diaper was FULL. Poor guy was just trying to tell me something in the middle of the night. "MA, my frickin' diaper is full, I'm soaked, cold, and nobody cares!" Ugh. Mother of the year, right here.
So I apologized profusely and promised "never again, buddy!"
But last night was much better. Nick ate all his dinner, enjoyed his bath time, and fell asleep mid-bottle as usual. I placed him in his crib, and he started to wake up. But no crying. He rolled onto his tummy. Still no crying. I rubbed his back for 5 seconds, then made my exit. STILL no crying! I went downstairs, did some dishes, chopped some veggies for a beef stock Todd is making (from scratch...I married Betty Crocker), and flipped through my Redbook (and he married a cougar). STILL NO CRYING! Todd said "no crying, huh?" and this time I didn't gloat. I kept my guard up, certain the crying would come. At one point, I heard a little "wah" and raced to the hand monitor. He was awake, head up, looking around. I'm certain he had a burp. But he wasn't crying. So I went into the kitchen and helped Todd steam some artichokes I had bought that were on the verge of becoming compost. Then I checked the monitor again. Sleeping like a baby!
By 10:00pm, I knew he was out cold for the night. And I was right. Little man slept through until I went in to wake him up at 7:30am.
I took him to daycare with a little pep in my step. So proud that my little guy woke up in the middle of the night, knowing he was all alone in his crib, and managed to put himself back to sleep with little to no fussing.
I'm convinced now that the schedule really does work, and is SO important and valuable. Nick needs his routine.
And aside from a mysterious case of diaper rash (his first ever...and really it's just some redness in his butt crack), everything is hunky-dory in our baby world.
Hopefully this won't be just another fluke...like it has been so many other times that I've bragged about his sleeping. But this feels different. This feels like a small victory. And after all, isn't it the small victories that make it all worth it?
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