Graceful, I am not.

If you were curious how my morning started, it went a little like this:


Looked in my closet, saw my favorite black pencil skirt. Said skirt has a pretty stretchy waist band, so I wanted to wear it before I a) got too big to wear it, and b) it got too cold outside to want to wear it.


As I walked downstairs, I noticed my black dress maternity pants on the pile of laundry in the living room (it was a lazy Sunday, sue me). I thought to myself "this skirt really is getting a little snug, it's probably best to just put on the pants". But seeing as I was already running about 5 minutes behind, I decided to just go with what I had on.


Fast forward to arriving at work...


I had stopped at McDonald's to grab breakfast for Kate & I. I got out of the car, put the office work bag over one shoulder, my purse over the other, had my umbrella in one hand, and a drink tray with a McDonald's bag on top in the other hand. I started walking down the parking garage ramp, when all of a sudden I felt my foot giving out on the wet, oil-slicked pavement. My first reaction was "save the McDonald's!" so as my foot slid, I bent it back, and underneath me to break my fall. I landed fairly lightly on top of my right leg as my left leg slid out to the side, and that's when I heard it...


"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppppppppppppppp"


I carefully stood back up (hands still full and no spillage of McDonald's mind you!), and started to continue my walk towards the office, when I realized that my leg was black and scratched from ankle to knee, and I was feeling quite the breeze on my behind.


I must add in, that all the while this was happening, two men smoking in the smokers corner of the parking garage witnessed my graceful decent to the floor, and didn't even so much as call out to see if I was ok. Jerks.

So I tried to cover my behind with my hand and walk back up the ramp to my car, which is when I realized that my skirt had ripped clear from the bottom of the slit, straight up to the bottom of the zipper...completely exposing my buns and my underwear.

My immediate first thought was "I didn't bring any back-up pants!" and my immediate second thought was "Thank God I didn't wear a thong today!".

So needless to say, I had to hop back in the car and go home to wash off my dirty leg, and change into pants.

Clearly God was telling me that the baby did not want to wear that skirt, today. Or ever again for that matter. Skirt in trash. Lesson learned.

18 weeks today!

Today I'm 18 weeks, and thought it would be fun to hop on the motherhood bandwagon and copy a "status" survey from some other preggo blogs I follow. (Yep, I'm a total blog stalker).

But first...what vegetable is Baby K this week?

A bell pepper!

"Wait...how is a bell pepper smaller than a baked potato?" My mom actually asked me this question when I forwarded her my regular baby center weekly update. To which she promptly followed up with "guess I'm buyin' the wrong bell peppers!" I agree with mom. Apparently the writers for baby center do not shop at any of the local Giants, Shoppers, or Blooms in northern VA.

Anyway, this week our bell pepper is about 5.5 inches long and weighs about 7 ounces (still so teeny) and he/she is busy flexing his/her arms and legs. AND genitalia is finally visible! But we still have to wait a week and a half to confirm boy or girl.

So moving on to the survey...

How far along: 18 weeks (or 4.5 months!)

Maternity clothes: yes, please. I had a shopping problem prior to getting pregnant, and my sweet husband was hoping that since I would no longer be able to fit in to regular clothes, that my problem would disappear. No dice. I have been a maternity clothes shopping fiend! Only problem is that, for some reason, I want to save all my nice new maternity clothes instead of wearing them. Plus most of them are better suited for fall and winter, and we've had a streak of 90 degree weather this week...not ideal for full panel pants that make you sweat worse than pantyhose in the dead of summer.

Sleep: Sleep is always good. Especially if it's in the morning. In the first trimester, I was up to pee every night around 3:30am. Now in the second trimester, I find myself needing to pee in the middle of the night more than once. 1:00am...3:00am...5:00am...Oh, and I've resorted to needing a pillow between my legs for added comfort. I told Todd I NEED a body pillow. He said he's going to go sleep in the guest room. I'm calling his bluff.

Best Moment of the Week: Last night baby and I went to Todd's Thursday night softball games. I could feel the baby moving a bit throughout the games, which was exciting. But the best part was after the games, as we were chatting with a couple of the other guys in the parking lot, somebody made mention about losing one of the games. I jokingly said "winning is the only thing that matters!" and as soon as I said it, I felt a big kick (which I'm pretty sure was a fist bump) from the baby. Clearly this kid belongs to Todd, since that's pretty much how Todd feels about winning, too. :)

Movement: See above. We're getting there! It's sort of sporadic, how I feel it...but I'm looking forward to our next ultrasound so that I can confirm that the flutters I'm feeling are in fact a baby, and not just gas.

Food cravings: Pretty much anything. And then it ends up giving me heartburn. Biggest craving I've had this week is seared rare tuna. I could really go for some rare seared tuna on salad...or some spicy tuna rolls. Sadly, rare fish and tuna are big no-no's. Harrumph.

Gender: Finding out October 5th! Stay tuned...

What I'm Looking Forward to: The gender ultrasound; registering; figuring out what won't give me heartburn...

Weekly Wisdom: Pregnant women should think before they speak. Because they've probably already told their story before! (Trust me, I know.)

Foods and Beverages that give me indigestion:

All of them.

Ohhh, THAT appointment.

Baby brain strikes again. I swear, I'm losing it. I read somewhere that it is supposed to be due to the fact that all you can think about is all things baby related...but apparently for me, even that can't explain it.

Why?

Oh, because yesterday as I was finally filling all of my appointments, events, etc. in to my blackberry calendar to get it updated, I just kept thinking to myself "I know I'm forgetting something. WHAT am I forgetting?!" I just knew, KNEW, something was missing, but for the life of me I couldn't think about what I was forgetting to add to my calendar. So I figured "oh well, I must have gotten all of the important appointments down".

This morning, I opened up my blackberry calendar to jot something else down and realized what I had forgotten...

Our gender ultrasound.

REALLY? I can remember to type in my blackberry "go to AC Moore and dollar tree" but apparently I can't remember the oh-so-important date of when we find out if our baby is a boy or a girl. No big deal.

Seriously! I'm losing it. I even told Todd the same story for the third time the other night, and in a little bit of unrest, he looked at me and said "I already know this." To which I replied "how do you already know?" and he said "because this is the THIRD time you've told me!"

Problem is, it will probably happen again...BECAUSE I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT STORY IT WAS!

If I'm this bad at 18 weeks, I can only imagine what I'll be like when baby arrives. Hope I can remember to feed the baby!

Let 'er rip!

On Monday evening, as soon as I got home from work I plopped down on the couch next to Todd. Whinnie came barreling in to the room and jumped on the couch to start smothering us with kisses.

As is routine, I asked Todd "did she already go poo & pee?" since he gets home before I do and always takes her out. He responded with "well she peed, but then she sniffed around for a long time and didn't poo". So I said "ok, well I'll take her out to try again in a few minutes".

So Whinnie continues to hop all over the both of us, trying to stick her tongue in Todd's ear. Todd pulls her away and holds her in a standing position on the couch...and that's when we heard it...

"Pppfffffffttttttt"

Todd let go of Whinnie, grabbed his shirt collar and pulled his t-shirt over his head so he was not 'exposed' to any possible smells.

I said "Honey! That's so gross! For a minute I thought Whinnie did that!"

To which he said "wait...that wasn't YOU?? I thought YOU farted!"

And I said "WAIT...no it wasn't me. You mean it wasn't YOU either?!"

And he said "no, I really thought it was you! it's always you lately!" (thanks honey!)

And I said "ok, you swear that wasn't you? because I swear it wasn't me."

So finally after we both swore up and down that neither of us had farted, we realized that for the first time in the almost 5 years of her life, Whinnie had audibly farted.

We could NOT stop laughing. Dying. I mean, we've smelled it a million times. She has the stinkiest gas imaginable for a 22 lbs. dog. But we have NEVER heard it.

So after that I took her outside and of course, she immediately went poo. Such a proud moment.

Can't wait to see how we react the first time our baby lets one rip!

Hail to the baby bump!

FINALLY! Baby bump pics. Taken by, yours truly! (well actually, Todd took one of them because I couldn't quite get myself in the picture). Hopefully I'll have more bump pictures soon...if mom uploads her pics (ahem, mom!). Without further ado:

My attempt at taking a pic of the belly...almost a good shot...

(please ignore the shoes all over the floor in these pics. our entryway doubles as a shoe rack, apparently).

So Todd helped out, and took this one. 17 weeks, 2 days and all set for the game! Too bad the shirt didn't help secure a W...

And just because it's adorable...a picture of me, my first baby, and the bump at 16 weeks, 2 days (this was LAST Sunday) having a relaxing morning, lounging in bed.

The bump looks way bigger from this angle. Trust me, I pretty much ONLY look at it from this angle!

rough day...well until I had some bacon...

I should have known today was going to progressively go down the toilet the minute I pulled in to the parking garage at work. I had my favorite pearl earrings in a zipper pouch with my mascara, in my purse. I had just put on my mascara at a stop light, and as I pulled in to a parking spot in the garage, I put the mascara back in the zipper pouch, and then clumsily knocked the whole thing over, spilling it's contents upside down in between the center console and the passenger seat. I managed to find one of the earrings, but the other one is still at large.

Prior to the earring loss, my day had begun with oversleeping, getting deodorant all over my shirt, changing said shirt only to get cream cheese on my second shirt, and our neighbors having pushed our trashcan in to our front yard overnight because for some reason they hate us.

I tried to brush all of that off, and go about my day.

Whinnie hadn't gone #2 before I left for work in the morning, so I had planned to go home and let her out at lunch. But I decided against it, reassuring myself that she would be fine until Todd got home at 4pm.

Around 2:30pm, things at work took a turn for the worse and there was a bad flight debacle which, long story short, ended up canceling my boss out of his planned flight at 4:00pm, re-booking him on several connector flights, and not getting him in to his destination until close to midnight. Needless to say, he was not pleased, and I got the brunt of his frustrations.

As I finally worked out that issue, I decided to call Todd (around 4:30ish) to see if he was still going to have softball games (since it was raining), and he didn't answer his phone. It wasn't until then that I remembered he had to work late. Meaning Whinnie would not have gone #2 in almost 24 hours...which made me feel like the worst dog-mommy ever.

Finally I got to sit in terrible traffic and make my way home, only to find out that my neighbors parked in one of our parking spaces (because like I said, apparently they hate us), and that my boss' flight -- the one that I fixed -- had still not taken off and he was going to miss his connecting flight. Meaning I had to scramble to figure out Plan C (we'd clearly already attempted A and B).

Fortunately by some stroke of luck (or God could hear me praying for a break today), my boss's second flight was also delayed, meaning he was not going to miss his connection. After that, Todd got home from work with a bunch of leftover appetizers from a work party (bonus!), and I quickly gobbled veggies, fruit, and spanikopita (random!) for dinner. And since I still needed a small pick-me-up from my horrible, no good, very bad day, I decided to make some mashed potatoes to complete my dinner. And since everything, even a bad day, is better with bacon...you better believe I put some bacon on them.

mmm...bacon...

breaking news: we're going to 1/2 price burger night at Brion's Grille tonight, and I'm super excited to eat...a bacon cheeseburger. In fact, I might just order extra bacon. And I'll totally blame it all on the baby. Thank goodness for stretchy-waisted pants!

Blame it on the pregnant brain...

I haven't updated in, um, weeks? I'm currently in my 17th week (you read that right, 17th week!) of this pregnancy. I can't believe how quickly the time is going...and how quickly my waist line is expanding.

Some great things I've noticed in the past couple of weeks since my last update:

1) I don't think I will ever return to button & zip fly pants. The hidden panel waist band? Amazing. My mom told me that now I should understand why she likes elastic waist pants so much. I told her they are still frumpy and she's not allowed to wear them. I think she has snuck a few pairs in to her wardrobe since I moved out, though. I'll have to have Dad secretly check her pants...

2) My boobs (I know, TMI), which I didn't think could get any bigger, are now their own continent. I'm the globe...they are North America and Europe. Yes...that big. I put Dolly Parton to shame. I won't even tell you my cup size...unless you ask me in private, in which case I'll probably tell you, just to see the look of horror on your face.

3) The new prenatal vitamin samples that my Doctor gave me are a two part pill...one of them being an omega-3...aka fish oil. And it makes me burp (because remember, everything gives me indigestion) and tastes like fish. SICK. Fortunately this lasts less than the 1-2 seconds that the burp lasts, but seriously, it makes me wanna vomit. I need to remedy this stat...but you can't argue with free prenatals. Especially when prescriptions are off the charts expensive, and even the OTC variety at CVS are $20 a bottle.

4) Overall, I feel a million times better than I did in the first trimester, up until about week 13 or 14. Nausea has almost completely dissipated, and my appetite has returned, which makes eating a meal nice because I don't get full or sick after 3 bites anymore. While all that belly could be forming from a strong appetite, I'm calling it all baby, and sticking by that theory. Try to prove me wrong! You can't!

5) I love to sleep even more in the second tri, than I did in the first. And when I fall asleep, I'm O-U-T. I can stay up much later than I did in the first trimester...but I can also sleep in much later. Todd and I have had numerous conversations that I don't remember the next morning. For instance, last night he text messaged me at about 11:15pm that he was on his way home from softball. I responded. I even said "drive safe, see you soon, love you". Saw that I sent him that text this morning. Don't even remember him getting home. Thank goodness it was him and not a stranger. That could have been dangerous. Or really awkward this morning.

6) I still haven't had any strange cravings. I could, however, live off of bacon and chocolate milk. Every day I want to eat a BLT sandwich. Typically, Todd will indulge me on Saturday's and/or Sunday's and cook up some delicious BLT's (no T for him). That is probably my very favorite part of the weekend. That, and going to bed.

7) I can't remember SQUAT. I told the girls last night that I'm currently functioning off of 6 brain cells. One day last week I went to work, and then to lunch and back without putting on eye make-up. I went to the bathroom, caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and just about passed out. If you know me, you know I DON'T go out in public without eyeliner, or at the very least mascara, on my eyes. Terrible. Todd also says I've been telling him a lot of the same stories over and over again. That, however, I don't think comes from a failing memory, but more so from the fact that I don't think he's ever paying attention. Especially now that Football is back and our TV never changes from ESPN. (Except for last night when I totally got him b/c I was out to dinner with the girls and the TV was recording 90210 AND Bachelor Pad for me and he was afraid to cancel one recording for fear of the wrath of prego-mel, and thus he could not watch Monday night football. whoops!)

8) Apparently this week our little muffin is the size of a baked potato (OMG, I totally ate one for dinner Sunday night) and my uterus (sorry dad!) is the size of a cantaloupe. Welp...that explains the expanding belly. I also swear I can feel little flutters here & there, but nothing that definitely feels like "oh wow, the baby just kicked me!" I can't wait for that to happen. Although last night I totally pushed on the left side of my belly and felt something move over. So weird! But so awesome, too!

9) We find out the baby's sex on October 5th! We already have some names picked out, which a select few know about, but for the most part the name will be kept secret until birth. I need to register soon. Mom and I went looking at baby stuff in Target and she started to cry. Looks like she might be a tough partner to make it through all of the stores. My guess is Todd wouldn't cry during registering...but he would probably gag at the mention of a breast pump. Plus he doesn't really want to go register...he just wants to open the gifts. So Mom is my number one pick anyway. We'll just bring extra tissues :).

10) Last night the girls and I were all talking about the horrors of giving birth the, um, "down there" way (as opposed to C-Section) and all the ripping, pulling, tugging, etc. talk was making me a bit nervous and queasy. This is making me seriously consider scheduling a C-Section. But fortunately I have 5ish months left to form my "birth plan".

There's my recent baby-forming happenings in a nutshell. Hopefully this has caught you all (and me) up enough that now I can return to regular, shorter, updates. Plus I have to cut this off here because I have been holding my bladder the entire time I've been writing this...and we all know how small the pregnant bladder is! So my baked potato and I are off to the bathroom. Til next time!