Somebody's in trouble...

"Oh, hey mom.  Good morning!  Nope, not doing anything bad in here...just hangin' out, lookin' over the side of the crib...I've had this pacifier in my mouth all night and morning.  I promise, I'm a good boy!"

"You mean these teeth marks on the crib?  They must be from the dog...I would never chew on the crib...not me...no way!"

"But seriously...you couldn't possibly be mad at me with this face, could you?  Nah, I didn't think so."

Holiday PJs

Yep...we wear our Christmas jammies year round...so what?

Giddy up!

Yesterday it was a beautiful and balmy 70 degrees in our 'hood.  I couldn't wait to take Nick outside to play, and had grand plans to wheel him around the neighborhood in his wagon.  But the idea was quickly shot down when I realized 1) It's sort of a complicated process for me to haul the wagon outside, then load it with snacks/drinks/toys/etc, then grab Nick, all while fending off Whinnie and trying to explain to her that she can't come with us, 2) Todd wasn't home to help with this complicated process, and 3) the wagon is currently sitting in the living room FILLED with the 9,000+ stuffed animals people have given Nick (mostly for his birthday...hello, he has 3 pillow pets already...and those suckers are not small), so we decided to go for a much easier option. 

I pulled his "First Years" push car outside (the one my grandparents bought him for Christmas, that took my sweet hubby 3 hours of his Christmas day to assemble), plopped him in, and started pushing him with the long handle.  But homeboy is all about doing things himself these days, not to mention his little legs are getting too long to be pushed without having them drag and scrape on the sidewalk, so all Nick wanted to do was walk and push the car himself.  I obliged and we walked up and down the sidewalk in front of our house for about 15 minutes. 

When we both got tired of that activity, I thought it would be fun to find the swings in the next neighborhood over.  So we set off on a little walk around the neighborhood, but I couldn't find the cut through in the woods that one of our neighbors told us about, so we never found the playground with the swings.  Instead we opted to visit our little playground, which is practically in our backyard.  No swings, but three slides, two little rocking animals, and a ton of things to climb on.  I put Nick on one of the little horses and he was a mixture of excited and not sure what to think:

After riding the horse for a few minutes, I thought it would be fun to take him down the slide on my lap.  I put my phone down with my keys, so naturally I forgot to take any pictures of the sliding.  Nick belly laughed every time we went down the slide.  Seeing as the slide was maybe 5 feet tall (at most) I thought it would be fun for me to set him on the slide on his own, and guide him down (with my hands around his waist).  He LOVED this.  He started giggling and cracking up.  In fact, he laughed so hard that he got the hiccups, hiccup-burped and vomited on the slide.  Awesome.  It was just a teeny bit of vomit (more like a throw-up burp), so we yanked off that cute fleece vest he was wearing, and wiped it up.  And then we continued to slide.

Finally it was dinner time, and we were both sweaty and exhausted, so we happily trekked home.  And Nick was passed out by 6:30pm AND slept like a log.  Looks like we will definitely be spending many a day/afternoon/evening at the playground this spring and summer...and possibly going on a hunt for a little slide for our own backyard!  Thank goodness for warm winter days!

Time to get organized

If you know me well, you know that I'm a bit of a hoarder.  Not in the terrible, deserving of my own A&E special, sense...but more so in that if it's got sentimental value, I can't bare to part with it.  If it looks like something that might still be in style if I lose those last 20 lbs, I can't bare to part with it.  If it somehow appears to be something that I just might be able to use for a future project -- should a project ever arise -- I can't bare to part with it.

I have stacks of colored paper, stickers, gel pens, crayons, and crafty items galore, justincase I need to whip up a quick card, homemade gift, or Halloween costume.  I have two closets FILLED with clothes that I can't seem to toss or donate justincase I one day lose enough weight to fit back into an XS and desperately NEED a tiny navy blue t-shirt to wear that day.  And I have about 25 pairs of shoes that I never wear, but don't want to get rid of justincase a pair of black and gray plaid flannel peep-toes comes back into style. (I'm gonna guess they won't...)

Not to mention my affinity for framed pictures and nick-knacks.  I can almost hear former co-worker/sorority sister Kate rolling her eyes in horror.  Girl HATED nick-knacks.  Oh how I wish I had her self control :).

Anyway, whether it was the motivation from visiting the nick-knack controlled Schwass household in Scranton this past weekend, or seeing the gloriousness that is my brother's sweet new apartment (dude can decorate!), I have been seriously bitten by the organization/decorating bug.

Monday was a holiday, so we sent Nick off to the great-grandparents for the day with Gramma, and got down to the business of "February Spring Cleaning".  But our morning was a bit interrupted, as I needed to run into the office, and Todd had to finish up some grad school homework.  So we didn't really get started on our deep cleaning until after 1:00pm.

I worked on the main level while Todd worked in the basement.  I didn't make much progress in getting rid of things, but I did make a lot of progress in the cleaning department, and can now confidently say that my floors are sparkling.  Todd on the other hand wound up with 4 trash bags full of donations for Goodwill.  None of which were clothes, because we still haven't made it upstairs!

Yesterday morning I worked to clean and organize my office.  I moved the baby items no longer in use, that were just taking up floor space, up to the loft, and threw out a ton of unneeded papers and junk crowding my desk.

This morning I spent an hour in Nick's room re-organizing his drawers and closet, and purged all of his clothes, bibs, shoes, socks, swaddles, and burp cloths into bins for storage in our attic.

My next item on the agenda, which I'm hoping to get to tonight, is to purge my closet like never before.  I want to yank out everything that I've looked at in the past year, said "hmm, I might wear this at some point", yet never put on, and throw it in a bag for Goodwill.  Shoes too.

But it goes even further.  Now I want to overhaul our guest bathroom and make it Nick's bathroom.  We never re-did the bathroom into a kid friendly format, and now that he is getting older and really loving bath time, I want it to be a fun, exciting place for him.  I want to paint the walls, change the shower curtain, get some cute accessories, and update the bath towels.

And worse, I want to re-do my office.  Paint the walls...finally hang up pictures...mount the 20 inch flat screen we've had sitting in a box for 10 months, and throw out the big ass tube TV that's taking up half the room.

I've got the organization bug so bad, that I even went so far as to re-organize all my files at work today.  Files that have been piling up on my desk are now perfectly organized.  It's like a huge weight off my chest.  I feel refreshed, enthusiastic about my work, and ready to tackle the next batch of tasks.

Yup, I've got the organization bug, and I'm anxious to get moving on all of the home projects I want to complete.  Funny - we've been in our house 3 years now, and I haven't had the organization bug this bad since we moved in.

Now, if only I could track down some money trees...then we'd be golden!

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to the love of my life, my very best friend, my husband. I don't think I could be more grateful to have you as my parter for all of life's ups and downs. You are an incredible support system, and a wonderful father. You make us laugh constantly and your dimples still make me melt. I love you more than words and can't believe this is the fifth birthday of yours we're spending together. Thank you for all you do for our little family. Happy Birthday, my love!

S-M-R-T

I am so smart! S-M-R-T!

Blogger Trouble

The reason I haven't posted in so long is because I keep trying to upload pictures, and blogger is posting them all sideways.  So in my frustration, I just abandon the post.  I now have several posts that I've been working on for a while, and all of the pictures are sideways.  Help!  Anyone know how to fix this?  Example:

Public

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My reasons for going private were starting to seem lame to even me, and the majority of the people I want reading my blog were having issues accessing it as private. Plus, ya never know when being public might be a good thing! So, welcome back world. And just to be totally self serving, here's a picture of me having an awesome hair day last week -- taken mostly for my husband to admire (and motivate me on days like today when I realize I haven't washed my hair since Saturday. SATURDAY! Sick.)

I'm one...

...and I know it!

**Detailed party post to come...

Happy First Birthday, Baby Boy!

Dear Nicholas Matthew,

Today is your first birthday.  A whole year of your life - complete.  A whole year of my and your daddy's lives fulfilled.  As I sit here composing this letter to you, my eyes brim with tears, and it's hard to see what I'm typing - but it's not hard to get it out, because I'm not writing this as I go -- not making it up -- no, this is being written from memory.  Memory within my heart.

I remember the day you were born as though it were yesterday.  Your daddy and I waited in that hospital room all day, hoping you would be motivated by the massive drip of pitocin I was receiving, to make an appearance on your own.  But alas, you had already inherited your daddy's laid back attitude, and combined with your mama's stubbornness, you decided the only way you were leaving the warm comfort of my belly, was if somebody came in there and got you.

So, after a full day (over 10 hours!) of waiting in a hospital bed, it was decided that you would be born via cesarean section.  And so, we suited up and headed to the OR.

I was terrified and anxious.  I couldn't wait to meet you, but having shared such a special bond with you for 9 months - one that nobody could feel but us - I was worried I wouldn't know what to do with an "outside" baby.  Not to mention the thought of having my stomach cut open scared the crap out of me.  But the team of doctors - and specifically Dr. T - made sure everything moved along without a hitch.  And on February 2nd , 2011 at 11:28pm, you were brought into this world -- 6lbs, 10oz, 19.5 inches of perfection.  And OH that blond hair, and those huge blue eyes!  All of the doctors and nurses in the operating room exclaimed how beautiful you were.  Daddy took pictures of the whole ordeal.  He was so proud.  I was so proud.  We were so in love with you.  We were finally a family.

We took you home from the hospital on SuperBowl Sunday.  Hopeful to make it home in time to watch the game, Gramma and Boss went to our house, picking up Whinnie and a pizza on the way, to wait for our arrival.  But wouldn't you know it, your little body - so teeny at 3 weeks early - was jaundiced, and needed a little extra TLC on the photo-therapy light bed.  So daddy and I waited as you suntanned for a few hours, and finally around 11pm on SuperBowl Sunday, we were discharged from the hospital.  I'm sure daddy could tell you, but I have no clue who won the game.

The minute we walked in our front door, I crumbled.  Mommyhood was so new to me, so terrifying, that I instantly began to cry.  And continued to cry on and off for the next three weeks -- something I couldn't control.  All of these new emotions were flooding my heart and my mind.  I constantly worried about you - were you cold, hot, hungry, wet, tired, angry, sad...would you be ok in your crib for 5 minutes if I went to the next room, or worse, if I went to sleep for an hour or two.  You were so tiny that we were under strict orders from the doctor to wake you up to eat every 2-3 hours.  We were all zombies that first month...none of us really getting much sleep.

But somewhere in the midst of sleeplessness, tears, and endless amounts of cuddling, we became a team. We figured each other out, and started growing together -- you, growing in size and skill; me, growing in love and patience; us, learning from each other.

And while this may have been a trying year, learning how to soothe you to sleep - and help you to sleep through the night -- learning your cries, your signals, your sounds, your gestures - there isn't a single second of a single day that I would trade any of it for all the riches in the world.  Every sleepless night, every tear shed, every "debate" your daddy and I had about parenting,  every stinky diaper, every shirt ruined by spit up, every cuddle, every kiss, every smile, every time your little hand wrapped around my finger...those are the things that are of the most value in my life.  Those are the things that keep me going.  They are worth everything -- and more.

Now every day is spent watching you transform from a baby to a toddler.  You grow and change so quickly, that if we blink for a second, we risk missing a new milestone.  You are within inches of walking -- you just need to find that confidence within, letting you know that even if you aren't holding mommy or daddy's hands, we are standing right behind you -- we won't let you fall. 

You babble constantly, and often sound as though you're making up your own songs.  You say the same word (while still indecipherable) when you see Whinnie, and oh how your little face lights up when she's near!  You clap when we ask you to, and you lean in to give kisses every.single.time we ask - no matter who you're kissing -- you don't discriminate!  You feed yourself with your fingers, and are thisclose to using a fork and spoon on your own.  You have a very short attention span, and move from one item to the next with vigor.  You giggle uncontrollably when somebody pops up from behind the furniture to "scare" you.  You cover your own eyes and wait for us to say "where's Nick?!" before quickly removing your hands and grinning from ear to ear when we respond "oh, there you are!" 

You sleep through the night now, and play silently on your own in your crib if you wake up.  We're not entirely sure where this new behavior has come from, but we're chalking it up to you considering yourself a "big boy" now.  And let me tell you, this is the best gift you could have given us.  If you're anything like your mommy & daddy, you'll love to sleep.

Your strawberry blond hair now curls around your ears and the nape of your neck -- getting curlier when you're hot or sweaty...something that happens a lot for an active one year old boy!  Your blue eyes deepen every time I look in them, and your dimples can make anyone melt in a second.  I used to think I'd miss your gummy baby smile, but now that you have a mouthful of teeth, I can't think of anything cuter than your gap-toothed grin.  You're outgrowing your clothes faster than I can put them on you, and I fear we're going to have a hefty grocery bill when you enter your teen years one day, because boy can you pack away the food!

As I reflect on the first year of your life, and the first year of my life as a parent, I can only think of one thing in life that is more rewarding than being a mommy -- and that's being YOUR mommy.  You truly are the greatest gift from God...the completer of my heart...the soother of my soul.  It's entirely impossible for me to pour all of my emotions and love for you into a written letter, but I hope you'll always know just how much joy you bring to your parents - your grandparents - your uncles - your great aunts and uncles - your great grandparents - and every person you meet.  And I hope you'll always know just how much you are wanted, you are needed, you are loved. 

Thank you for making me the best version of myself that I have ever been -- your mommy.

I love you to the moon, back, and beyond.

Love always,
Mommy