My Girls

When I was in high school, my parents consistently told me to hold on to my friends, because it's easy to drift as your lives take different paths. When I got to college, my parents reminded me to hold on to my high school friends, because they were the friends that knew me first -- the friends that I "grew up" with.

My parents were right. In high school, I met four girlfriends that changed my life. We spent every free moment at school, in between (and often during) classes gossiping and making plans for the weekend. When the weekend rolled in, it was merely a matter of who's parents were ok with hosting the five girls for two full days (and a sleepover) without going crazy. But we were good girls, and were easily trusted by our parents.

At the end of summer before we all left for college, we had a big sleepover at my parents house. We played the typical truth or dare, french braided each others hair, and ate homemade nachos at 3:00am. The morning after our sleepover, we huddled together in a big group hug -- pj's, glasses, messy hair, and morning breath galore -- and vowed we would always stay friends.

College went by...some of us moved away (ahem, Sara)...a few of us got married...we all settled into our new "adult" lives...and one of us gave birth (obviously that would be me). And I'm proud to say, that almost 15 years later, we are still friends.




But now, more than ever, being a mom is shedding light on my parents strong advice, and their words are constantly ringing in my ears as another birthday goes by or an anniversary is celebrated. "Don't let go of those friends...they will be the best friends you've ever had."

My days are now consumed with all things baby. From the moment I get up in the morning, to the moment I go to sleep at night, all of my thoughts sit with my son. Granted, he goes to daycare five days a week, and I do have time here and there for other things (such as facebook, blogging, and you know, going to the bathroom). But when I'm not playing with, feeding, changing, or snuggling my little guy, I'm trying to spend time with my husband, or hang out with my family. I'm trying to give attention to my poor deprived puppy, and I'm trying to at least get the damn dishwasher emptied. Most days I can't even find time to get the laundry put away, because by the time I have free time to myself, all I want to do is plop on the bed with Big Brother, Teen Mom, or some other crap show turned up, a cup of cafe mocha in my hand, and the thought of getting a possible 6 hours of sleep that night. The last thing I want to do is hang up the 12,000 shirts I wore that week that probably didn't even need to be washed in the first place, but ended up in the dirty clothes because in a fit of "oh-my-gosh-i'm-still-so-fat" rage, I threw them all over the floor just trying to get dressed to take Nick to the babysitter.

As I'm finally about to drift off to sleep at night, that's when the thoughts begin swirling in my head: "you did NOT send so-and-so a birthday card" or "you never wrote back to the 'girls update' email chain that was going around" and suddenly I can't sleep because I'm thinking about how my friends only know I'm still alive and completely obsessed with my son because they can read about it on my blog or in my facebook status updates.

And that's when it starts to hurts. In the pit of my stomach. Suddenly I think my friends have probably written me off and decided they don't want or need anything to do with me because I haven't contacted them in weeks and they think I couldn't care less about their lives so they're going to care less about mine and all I want to do is kidnap them all for a weekend, and sit around playing with each other's hair, eating chips and salsa that have been sitting out for 6 hours getting stale, and drinking virgin daiquiris only now that we're old enough they'd totally be full of rum.

And then randomly, one of them will shoot me a text, or an email, or a facebook post and unknowingly pull me back from the edge. The edge of giving up on having friends. Because I'm suddenly reminded that they aren't my friends. They are my sisters. Sisters don't need to be wrapped up in each others lives from minute to minute, but are excited to be brought up to speed - and are genuinely happy for all that's going on in your life - regardless of the fact that it's been months since your last conversation. Sisters forgive if you forget to tell them 'Happy Anniversary'. Sisters already know why you're calling or texting before even listening to your message. And sisters will be there for you, and have your back, no matter what may happen along the way.

So if I've seemed like a crappy friend lately, don't worry -- I know I've been one. I know I haven't called or emailed, and I know I haven't acknowledged things that deserved acknowledging. But I promise I'm still here. I hope my friends will understand that I've been otherwise busy, but I also hope they know that I will always have their backs. Because the friends I made in high school, really are the best friends I'll ever have.