Growing Pains

I have Nick's 18 month post started, and had every intention of finishing it and posting it today (because, ya know, I'm only 2 weeks behind), but I feel like there's something else weighing heavy on my heart today that I just have to get out in writing.

I've posted before about how growing up is tough.  Aside from the jolt to your system when your old eating habits and work-out routine no longer keep your muffin top from muffining or your arms from developing that infamous flapping-in-the-breeze chicken wing effect.  And aside from the fact that your knees crack every time you stand up, causing you to limp like a pirate because hell - if we're talking ailments, we might as well discuss the constant back-pain/adult acne/bowels-that-can't-handle-spicy-food-like-they-used-to/hangovers-take-3-days-to-recover-from-now issues that constantly plague our aging bodies.  And even MORE so aside from the fact that no matter how desperately you try to win the lottery, it just ain't happenin' and your bills continue to roll in at lightening speed because who gives a shit if you just paid off your good-year bill for the new tires your SUV HAD to have, because inevitably the minute they receive the last payment it's like they send some sort of satellite signal to your dashboard causing the frickin' "check engine soon" light to pop on.

Aside from ALL that, there's the inevitable "I lost contact with some of my best friends because we both had too much to do, no time to do it in, and figured 'eh, they'll be there for me later'' syndrome.

And that's the one that sucks the most.

I remember being in middle school and struggling with the change-over of friendships that came along with dealing of awkwardness, puberty, a new found interest in boys, and those huge-ass glasses that paired just beautifully with my shiny new braces and horrendous poufy bangs (they were in style people!).  I went through a few groups of friends between 7th-10th grade.  But by the 10th grade, I'd found my solid foundation of friends.  We were a group of five and while we often varied who each of us was "besties" with within our own circle (usually from month-to-month, sometimes even week-to-week), we all always had each others backs and were for the most part, inseparable. 

But in those awkward 4 years prior to my Sophomore year, I remember often feeling left-out, getting into stupid bickering arguments with friends, and struggling to figure out who I was and where I stood in a group of other people my own age having the exact same internal battles.  I can't remember what exactly prompted it, or what minor middle-school drama moment I was experiencing at the time, but I clearly remember my mom telling me something along the lines of how one day I'd be grown up, living with my husband and my kids, and I would realize that my middle school friendships were just that - middle school friendships.  And that one day I'd have a solid foundation of friends, but as I got older, I would realize how those friendships would take a back seat to the priority of my own family.  And how important it was to hold fast to those solid friendships as they formed, because those would be the people I could count on most to be there - even in the backseat - supporting me and cheering me on from afar.

Well, I have to say, she was right.

I went off to college and continued to stay close with friends through the wonderment of AOL instant messaging, and the sheer luck that none of us ventured off across the country, keeping most of us within a few hours range of each other.  And oh how wonderful college was.  Seriously.  Best time of my life (you know, until I got married and Nick was born). 

College was not only an awesome way to figure out what I wanted to be career-wise in life, or how to perfect my keg-stand, but it was also a great place to make more friends.  And that, I did.  Not just because I joined a sorority (but boy did that help).  I had an abundance of friends in college.  Tuesday night with no early classes the next day?  I was certain to have SOMEONE I could call up to grab a beer (or 5) with.  None of my roommates available for lunch?  No worry, I'd just walk up to the Johnson Center and crash the Chi O table.  Friends were easy to find.

And some of those people became not just friends, but best friends.  True to the core, deep down "I will ALWAYS be by your side and I'll kick some asses in your honor" type friends.

But here I am, 8 years out of college, sitting in my lonely office (oh yeah, I forgot to add "having a real-world job" to the list of things that suck about growing up), and I realize that about 90% of those friends and friendships are gone. 

I have pushed my family to the fore-front of my life.  My priorities have drastically changed from perfecting my beer-bong abilities to perfecting my toddler-friendly meal making prowess's.  I'd rather wear a pair of comfy jeans or sweats than a push-up bra and a low-cut top.  If given the choice between a night out at the club full of dancing and dirty martini's, 9 times out of 10, I'd rather have a quiet night in with a good book (ok, probably more like reality TV) and a bedtime that comes LONG before midnight.  And in all honesty and truthfulness, I would choose to hang out with my husband and son over just about anyone, any day.

That is the reality of my life now.

Somewhere between picking out a wedding gown, venturing off to the Dominican Republic with my heads in the cloud, getting knocked up, and subsequently giving birth to the most amazing little boy I have ever laid eyes on, my priorities shifted.  And all of those friends I made in college started to disappear.

Let me be clear.  They did not disappear by choice, but rather by happenstance.

And it makes me sad, yes.  But it also makes me realize how different my life is from my life 10 years ago. 

I miss my friends.  With a deep-gut ache.  With the heaviest of hearts. 

But how do I salvage friendships that have been strained over time...over years of moving on in different directions?

How do I explain to someone "it's not you...it's me" -- because truthfully, I am the reason these friendships have drifted.  But after all this time, I honestly don't see how some to mend something that's so far gone.

And in some strange (possibly twisted) way, I don't really feel the need to mend them.  They were what they were, and now they are what they are.  Should they come back and develop into something more - awesome.  But if they don't?  I don't really have time to worry about it now.  My priorities are different.  And they are just that -- priorities.

One thing is for sure though.  It's a comforting feeling to know that as we grow and drift from old friends, there are always new friends to be made and found.  I am lucky to have married a man that had his own solid friendship base, and to no longer feel the need to refer to these people as "my husbands friends" but rather as "our close family friends". 

And the cherry on top is the fact that those friends that I DID make in high school?  The ones that rescued me from the hells of 7th-10th grade?  They're still there.  And they don't need a phone call a day, or an email every week.  They understand that a support system comes in many different ways.  And we respect each others ever changing ways/days/years.  But they will be the people I call when I get pregnant again.  They'll be the ones I will genuinely cry tears of joy with when they call to tell me that THEY'RE pregnant/engaged/etc.  And they'll be there to pull me out of the dark holes, trials and tribulations that are sure to come in life.  Because when you've been friends with someone for more than half your life, eventually they stop being your friends, and they become family.

I'm lucky to have such a big "family"...even if I am lacking in friends.

Call me, maybe?

Today is my parents 36th wedding anniversary.  36 years -- amazing.  What a blessing to have them as my parents.  Matt and I are very lucky.

Of course, daughter of the year that I am, I forgot today was their anniversary, and called yesterday to ask if they could watch Nick for the evening/feed him dinner because Todd and I have a meeting with our mortgage lender tonight.  They happily obliged without nary a mention of the special date.

So this morning, as I was sending out an email and typed in today's date, it suddenly struck me "oh crap!  Today is mom & dad's anniversary!"

I felt bad for asking them to watch Nick on their special day (silly me, I should have known there was no other way they'd want to spend their anniversary than with their precious grandson), so I called mom to apologize and see if we should reschedule.

When she didn't answer the phone, I figured she must be busy, so I sent her the following text message (ignore the Catching Fire text, that was from a few days prior):

I'm just glad I didn't lead off the text with "Happy Anniversary!" Followed by "Call me when you have sex :)".  That would have been even more embarrassing.  Definitely NOT something I would ever ask my mom. ;)

Damn you autocorrect!

More scenes from marriage...

Scene: A good friend of ours came over last night to help with a project in our house.  He casually mentioned that he was seeing a new girl.  Naturally, I had to grill him about her...

Me: "What does she look like?  Is she nice?  Where does she work?  Does she have a dog?  Where does she live?  What are her hobbies?  etc. etc. etc."

Friend: Politely answering all questions with detailed answers (because he knows I need the details, obvi).

Me:  "How many dates have you been on?  Where did you go?  Are you going out again soon?"

Friend: Mentions they have gone out about 4 or 5 times, most recently spending the day at her community pool.

Before Friend is even finished talking about recent date to said pool, hubby interjects...

Todd:  "Is she a one-piecer or a two-piecer??"

Me (smacking Todd in the arm):  "Get over it, it's never going to happen again."

Todd: "A man can still have hope!"

Apparently I've played the c-section/stretch marks card long enough...Back to the gym!

Sick Sunday

I used to think toddlers with crusty, snotty, runny noses were gross. And I used to wonder - even judge maybe - why their parents didn't wipe their noses. And now I'm one of those parents. And I get it. Trying to wipe a toddlers crusty nose is like trying to wrangle a snake. Easy only for a pro, and not for the faint-of-heart. So for now, my kid will fall amongst the crustified. Because if that keeps him from screaming, well so be it. Judge away. And for your viewing pleasure (or disgust), a view of said crusties. Taken while sick boy napped on my arm today. You have been warned.

3 years

Nine years ago we met.

I stood you up for our first date.

Four years later, you took another chance on me.

We went on our first date and spent 7 hours talking.

I knew you were a rare and lucky find.  I knew you were the one for me.

Five years ago we officially became a couple.

Four years ago you dropped to one knee on a foggy and dark beach and asked me to marry you.

I couldn't even see the ring, or your face, but it was the most exciting moment of my life.

I said yes.

We bought our first home.

We became a family of three.

You embraced my family as if they were your own.

We fit in each other's lives like missing puzzle pieces.

My heart was finally complete.

Three years ago today we made a commitment to each other.

To love, honor, cherish, and respect. 

For the rest of our days.

 And look at how far we have come in three short years.

 

The amount of love in our lives was multiplied by infinity the day our precious son was born.

Our journey had only just begun.

And there is no other soul on this planet that I would want to share this life with.

We are best friends, lovers, soul mates.

We are each others own personal comedians.

We were destined for each other.

Because of you, I believe in fate.

God knew what he was doing when he brought you back into my life.

 God knew what he was doing when he gave us Nicholas Matthew.

And I can't wait to see what else He has in store for us.

Lord knows, it is going to be amazing.

 I love our little family.  I love our life together.

I love you.

Here's to forever.  And after.

Happy 3 years, my love.

Let's go to the beach...

Sorry it's taken me so long to get this post up, but every time I have tried to log into blogger for the past week, it has had some sort of error and won't show me the editing tools necessary to edit a post.  Thus, half of my pictures either didn't upload, or uploaded upside-down or sideways.  Needless to say, I'm frustrated. 

Regardless, we spent a week in Myrtle Beach with my parents, brother and his gf, and it was absolutely wonderful.  It was a week of relaxation (well as much relaxing as can be done with a water-crazed toddler in tow), indulgence (we ate WAY too much and drank just enough), and laughter.  Thank you to my parents for being so incredibly generous - from the hotel, to the meals, to the endless grandparent duties - we are so grateful and can't wait for all of our upcoming lake house adventures to come! 

I'll let the pictures that did upload (albeit crappy iphone pics) speak for themselves. Apologies that they are out of order...I lost my patience with blogger. I promise a second post full of high quality pics from Todd's camera because he finally uploaded them to my laptop last night.  Woo hoo!

All of our luggage.  And when I say "our" I mean my parents and the three of us.  Two regular luggage carts, and two shopping carts (one not pictured) - stacked to the very top.  We do NOT travel lightly in our family...

Date night! We went to Miyabi Japanese Steak House and celebrated our 3 year anniversary a few weeks early.  The food was incredible, but even more so it was wonderful to sit and talk with my sweet hubby and realize how much we have grown as both a couple, and in love, in the past three years.

While we were on our date, little man went to dinner with Gramma & Boss.  They ended up (by accident) in a 5 star, white table cloth restaurant, that lacked in children's menu choices, and was not thrilled by an 18 month old's screaming.  But apparently they had a great time (which might be tough to tell by his face in this picture)

Early morning snuggles with Gramma while watching Dora.  We were all well-versed in Dora songs by mid-week.  Pro's by week's end.

Practicing his putt with Boss man. 

Gleefully jumping waves with Daddy!

Mommy & Gramma enjoyed a few beach cocktails...yum!

Snacking in the sand after a lengthy beach nap.  Moments later, mom handed Nick a metal spoon from our hotel room meant for digging.  Poor guy has been working so hard on mastering the use of a spoon, that he dug right into the sand and put a huge heap in his mouth.  The results were not pleasant.

This nap at the beach lasted nearly 3 hours.  Why I didn't nap at the same time is beyond me.

This was one of his many/daily pool naps.  Loves propping that little foot up.

Loving the lazy river with Daddy.

Wish this one hadn't turned sideways -- it fully captures the pure bliss he experienced by getting to spend an entire week with his favorite people, doing his favorite thing (playing in the water).

His very own cigar shop!  No, he was not allowed to go inside.

It may look like he was putting his genius to work and sculpting a sand-turtle, but in reality he was destroying mommy's hard work.

A beach-loving toddler's version of heaven.

And a toddler-loving mommy's version of heaven.

Can't get enough of this face.

Can't get enough of these boys.

And definitely can't wait for our next beach trip!

Sweet Summer Time

As summer has taken off at lightening speed, my poor little blog has suffered.  Seems the busier we get, the more content I have for this little blog, and the less time and motivation I have to actually consolidate it all into meaningful posts.  We've been working our butts off (literally) trying to slim down for the summer.  It's a long, tough process, but I feel better than I have in a LONG time, and my clothes are finally starting to fit without a muffin-top.  Woo hoo!  We've also been spending a lot of time on the road and visiting with loved ones.  Where have we been lately?  Well...

___________________________

Wedding in Michigan:

Two weekends ago we loaded up the car with our suitcases full of clothes, pack n' play, stroller, a tub full of snacks, and our newly purchased car DVD player, and made the 12 hour trek up to Battle Creek, MI.  In all honesty, the drive up was basically cake.  Considering I wasn't driving and was able to doze off whenever necessary.  Todd probably has different views.  (But let me just say, that DVD player is a God-send.  I'll gladly listen to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Dora the Explorer on repeat over a cranky, screaming toddler.) We got up around 2:00am Friday morning and were on the road by 3:00am.  We packed the car the night before but planned to put any last minute items in the car in the morning and then grab Nick from his state of slumber right as we were headed out the door, plopping him in the car seat in his jammies and hoping he would pass right back out - or not even wake at all.  Fat chance.  He stayed awake for over an hour after departing our neighborhood.  But luckily for us, he didn't make a peep.  Mostly I think he thought it was all a dream.

We pulled into Battle Creek around 3:00pm in the afternoon on Friday, checked into our hotel, and from there it was a whirlwind of catching up with long lost Kalinosky family members.  We saw so many of Todd's aunts, uncles, and cousins - and most importantly got to spend time with his Dad and Step mom, who hadn't seen Nick since he was just 3 weeks old!  We grabbed pizza and chatted and then all went to our respective lodging locations and crashed for the night.  On Saturday we spent the day over at Todd's Uncle Mark's house, where a large chunk of his family were staying, and just laughed and talked and laughed some more.  That evening we went to Todd's cousins wedding (the main reason we went to MI in the first place), and let me just say -- if you thought there were a lot of Kalinosky's at our wedding...you have no idea.  Approximately two-thirds of the 200 guests at this wedding were Kalinosky's.  And I loved every single one of them, and every single second we all spent together.  It made me so appreciative to have married into such a loud, exciting, crazy, loving, understanding, and welcoming family.  Every single person hugged me like they had known me all their lives and hadn't seen me in years...when in reality, I was just meeting about 85% of them for the first time.  And boy did they love Nick!  Nick particularly took to Todd's female cousins - which we couldn't blame him for, because they were all gorgeous.  We stayed at the wedding dancing and having a blast until nearly 11pm...which is late for us old folk, and WAY late for our wee one.  But Nick was a champ, and spent the majority of the evening running around in his pj's, handing out kisses, and only getting slightly cranky.

Sunday morning we said our goodbyes -- we were all super sad to have to say good-bye to the Kalinosky clan and hit the road back to VA, but we've made plenty of plans to see everybody soon and hopefully get some of them to come stay with us!  In case there was any doubt before, I absolutely LOVE being a Kalinosky :)

_____________________

The Storm of the Year - Also Known As: Mom & Dad Bought a Lake House!:

This past Friday night, after gorging ourselves on Domino's pizza as a reward for the dieting and exercising we've been keeping up with, Todd and I settled into the couch to watch a movie.  True to form, I started to fall asleep mid-movie (in my defense, I'd already seen this one), so I started to play around on my phone to try and stay awake.  As I was scrolling through facebook, I noticed that more than half of my friends were posting about the "big storm rolling in" with "potential for quarter sized hail" and "80+ mph winds".  All was still quiet in our area - no rain, no wind, nada.  But being the worry-wart that I am, I told Todd we needed to take down the deck umbrella just to be safe.  No sooner had we gotten the umbrella inside and the plants all pushed up by the house, than the winds picked up.  And storm, it did.  Holy hell.  And then, as predicted, the power went out.  Of course instead of retreating to the basement like normal folks, we sat in the office upstairs watching the tree in our front yard, praying it wouldn't fall over - either into the house, or on top of the cars.  We didn't want to wake up Nick since he was sleeping so peacefully through it all.  Finally around 11:30pm the storm calmed down.  Rain continued to trickle and the thunder and lightening continued to crash, but the winds died down enough that I figured we could retreat to our bedroom.  I was certain the power would come on in the middle of the night while we slept.  But alas, no dice.

Around 1:30am, Nick woke up crying.  Obviously he was hot as hell -- we all were.  So instead of stripping him down to his diaper, we pulled him into bed with us.  Three hot, sweaty, cranky, miserable people in one queen bed.  Awesome.  By 3:30am, after Nick had successfully kicked me in the head, arm, ribs, and mouth, I scooped him up and said "you're going back to your bed".  Which actually pleased him.  We all slept until about 7:30am, got up, quickly pulled together our bathing suits and towels, and escaped to my new favorite place on earth...

My parent's lake house!!!

That's right.  We are now lake house people!!!  My parents have been thinking about purchasing a lake house for a while now.  This year they got serious about it, started researching places, found a location they absolutely loved (a gated community with 5 beaches, a huge swimming pool, clubhouse & golf course, on-site restaurant, boating and fishing lake, tennis courts, huge playground, etc. etc.), found a realtor, and started researching properties.  And when they came upon this one, they fell in love.  It was beautiful, beach-y, vacation-y, and just perfect.  And even better, it's only about a 2 hour drive from home.  Amazing!

My parents were already down at the lake house because they just closed this past week (lucky them - they missed the storm altogether) so my brother and his girlfriend (can I just tell you how much I love her?  Seriously, she is hilarious AND adorable), Todd, Nick and I all joined them to spend the day hanging out in the lake, getting some sun, and just relaxing.  I got a call on my cell phone around 3:30pm that our power had been restored at home, but at that point we were having such a great time that we had all decided we would just spend the night at the lake.

So that evening we had a big lasagna dinner, quite a few bud lights, a rousing game of Scattergories, and a million and one laughs before we all passed out for the evening.  It was such a relaxed, easy, comfortable, and all around awesome time.  All of us talked about how we couldn't wait to come back and how lucky we are to have this place not just for the rest of the summer, but for all the summers to come!  On Sunday before we packed up and headed home, the 7 of us just sat on the front porch, drinking coffee, talking, laughing more (we laugh a LOT), and enjoying the last bit of our mini weekend vacation.  How fortunate we all are that we can make any weekend a vacation now!  I'm so grateful to my parents for opening up their second home to us all and allowing us to be just as much a part of this exciting new development.

We were all a bit sad to leave each other on Sunday morning...but no worries because soon we'll all be reunited in Myrtle beach!  More fun, sun, pool, beach, beers, laughs, and relaxation!  And even better, Todd's Dad and Step mom are going to be joining us for the first night of vacation!  If there's one thing I like more than a Henson get-together, or more than a Kalinosky reunion, it's having the two families in the same place! 

So much to look forward to and to be thankful for - particularly all the wonderful people in our lives.  We're so blessed to come from such loving, wonderful families, and I can't wait to spend extra time with some of my absolute favorite people on earth.

Ahhh, sweet, sweet summer time.