Because why would anyone talk about what their kid doesn't do?

It's all over Facebook.

Brag brag brag.  My kid does this, my kid does that.  My kid pooped on the potty today and he's only 11 months old.  My kid has a vocabulary of 43 words and she's not even 18 months.  My kid knows quantum physics at just 2 and 1/2.

I'm no different.  I think my kid is the sweetest, smartest, most adorable creature on the planet.  And I love talking about what new thing he's done/new discovery he's made/new quirk he's developed every day.  Because what mom doesn't think their child is the best?  As mom's we're SUPPOSED to think that.  Hell, we're supposed to KNOW and believe it with all of our hearts.  Because in each of our own personal mommy eyes, our kids are the very best, most amazing, completely perfect creations that we (huge pat on the back) created.  And truth be told, every kid IS the best.  Because kids are awesome.  If they weren't, we wouldn't be a planet of over 7 billion inhabitants, and people would just stop procreating, because if you haven't figured it out by now...SEX LEADS TO BABIES.

But you know what I don't see on Facebook.  Like, ever?  "My kid doesn't ___________."

I'm not talking "my kid doesn't like green beans."  Or "my kid doesn't know how to match their socks/shirt/shoes/pants/headband/tutu/etc."  I'm talking about the huge milestones.

When was the last time you saw somebody post "my kid doesn't walk yet, and she's almost 18 months old".  Or "my kid refuses to give up diapers and go on the potty and he's damn near 4 1/2"?

Nobody posts that kind of stuff.  Nobody talks about delays or missed milestones, because as parents, we only want the rest of the world to see what we see in our kids...their complete and utter awesomeness.

But you know what?  No matter what delay your kid might have?  They're still pretty damn awesome.

Up until Nick truly started sleeping through the night consistently, I was a big time sleep-complainer on Facebook.  If you were my Facebook friend, then you knew that my son sucked at sleeping.  (Sorry bud, but it's the truth.) And I constantly received comments on my posts that said "oh my gosh, we're in the same boat!" or "my kid is a horrible sleeper, too - let's form a 2am chat group".  I never got any "shut up and deal with it, he's a baby" comments because anyone that was going through the same thing we were, needed the same reassurance that I did.

So why weren't more people posting the seemingly negative?  Was I just still reeling in the after effects of post-partum depression, and silently cursing my kid-less friends while hoping all of my new mom friends were suffering from lack of sleep as much as I was?  Were my other parent friends just worried that their friends with babies that slept through the night since week 3 would judge them?  Were we all worried that someone would think us bad parents for not being able to get our kids on a rigorous schedule?  HAD WE NOT READ ENOUGH PARENTING BOOKS?! 

Who knows?!

What I do know, is that nobody posts the "anti-brag". 

But I'm going to.

My kid?  He doesn't talk.

Believe me, he WANTS to talk.  He babbles constantly.  He holds things up all the time in anticipation of you naming the object/color/shape of whatever he is playing with.  He loves when we sing, and he claps in approval for any and all animal noises.  And he "repeats" anything you ask him to say, with his interpretation of the word.  But it's rarely, if ever, the actual word.

At almost 20 months old, my son has a vocab of less than 10 words. 

It's a punch to the gut whenever I see another video posted on Facebook of somebodies 15 month old rattling off all of the words to "Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street".  Because my kid rarely even says "Mama".

And it's frustrating as hell to finally tell someone "my kid is having a hard time learning to talk" and having them reply back "oh, don't worry about it, he'll be fine".

My mom gut says he'll be fine...but my mom intuition is also telling me he needs some help in learning.  Some help that I can't seem to give him. 

Do you know how awful that feels?  To not be able to teach your kid a skill that is typically innately developed?  To feel like you're failing at parenting?  Awful.

Trust me - I know things could be a lot worse.  And I'm not complaining by any means of the word.  I love that he still uses baby babble...it let's me cling to that little bit of his baby-ness for that much longer.  And he listens and understands SO well it's almost scary.  Ask him to take something to the trash, and he runs across the house, to the kitchen, carefully depositing said item right in the trash-can.  Tell him to bring you his shoes, and he comes running back with his preferred pair of the day.  Hell, I asked him to point out the "ice cream cone" to me in one of his favorite books (which actually had nothing to do with ice cream, just happened to have a teensy-tiny picture of it), and even though he'd rarely had any interaction with the words "ice cream cone", he knew exactly where the tiny picture was and confidently pointed it out, smiling from ear-to-ear because he knew he was right.

I have every aspiration that one day Nick will be a rocket scientist or an engineer, what with his interest in detail, button pushing, and ability to follow specific directions.  (That, and I'm his mom, so obviously I think he's a genius.)

And the fact that he doesn't talk yet is of minor concern and we're taking the next steps with a speech therapist to get him to the level of speaking that he should be at at this point in his life. 

But up until now, it's been one of those milestones that he hasn't reached, and therefore I haven't wanted to share it with anybody that doesn't see Nick on a regular basis.  Because who wants to comment on someone else's brag post of "my kid just learned to say boulevard, spaghetti, refrigerator, and RG3 in the same night!" with "my kid can't even say 'cat'!"?  I sure as hell didn't. 

But you know what? Whether he can talk or not, I know my kid is perfect. 

Because he's perfect for me.

Even when he lights up, gives me a big hug, and says "Da-Da!"