baby brain

My husband will probably pee his pants when he reads this post. As will my mom. But I have a feeling that they will both be peeing their pants for separate reasons -- anxiety vs. excitement. Guess who is who ;)

Let me preface by saying my apologies for not blogging in a while. Apparently when schedules get packed and things start building up -- you know, the time when I would have the most stuff to blog about -- I get writers block and can't get it all out. It's like I have this fear of forgetting to mention something, so rather than try to recap every single stinkin' detail of my little life, I'd rather devote entire posts to singular events or funny stories or little quips. Hence why I did not post any leading up to Christmas events, or any day of Christmas events, or any recapping Christmas events. Too much to divulge. Not enough time to divulge it all.

Moving on to the reason for this post.

I have serious. baby. brain.

Three days ago I read a blog (since I blog stalk people that I don't know) where a girl who had just recently gotten married this past spring or summer, just found out she was pregnant.

That very night I had a long and very vivid dream about being pregnant. Yes - I was pregnant. I was ecstatic. Todd was ecstatic. My whole family was ecstatic. His whole family was ecstatic -- you get the picture, everyone was ecstatic. In my dream, I LOVED being pregnant. So much so that when I woke up, I was sad that I wasn't pregnant.

Last night all I kept seeing on TV were commercials and programs featuring babies and pregnant women. My mom called me to tell me that my Gramma had exciting news and I should call her to find out. Gramma had her bone scan for her metastasized breast cancer last week, and I knew that I was calling her to find out that the results were good news, but my Grampa picked up the phone and when I said "I hear Gramma has good news!" he responded with "yes! Your Grandmother is pregnant". I knew he was joking (which by the way was HILARIOUS), but it just added to the pile of pregnancy overload that I've been on lately.

So today I was sharing with someone that I had recently been having pregnancy dreams and she told me that it was a sign that my biological clock is ticking.

Really?? We've only been married for 5 months! Why doesn't the biological clock sync up with the marriage clock and work out a sweet equation to give me the precise time that I should get pregnant at? Because while I keep telling myself we want to wait and we want to have a baby at the right time, is there every really a truly "right time"?

Don't get me wrong -- I'm the first to frown at the thought of stretch marks, size 42F boobs, and a huge ass needle being stuck in my spine to numb me from the waist down. None of that sounds glamorous or remotely enjoyable to me.

But a baby does.

Over Christmas I jokingly told Todd's mom that I semi wanted to fast forward through the baby thing and see Todd with grand kids because I think he'll be a wonderful grandfather. But then I thought to myself "shoot, my Dad is going to be an awesome grandfather!" Hot damn, our kids are going to be spoiled completely rotten by my parents, Todd's parents, and all of our friends!

Maybe the saying really will be true to form...and when the time is right...I'll just know.

In the meantime, I think I'll just stick to my pregnancy dreams. At least they're much less expensive!

Feelin' kinda random.

**There is no better feeling than coming home at the end of a very long day, and your dog, who has been in her crate all day and hasn't peed/pooped or eaten anything since 9:00am, wants nothing more than to lick your face and sit in your lap. Dogs truly are the definition of unconditional love.

**I missed the Jersey Shore last night. Feels pretty lame that at 9:30pm I said to myself "self, let's just take a 30 minute nap until Jersey Shore comes on." I woke up at about 10:45pm when Todd called to say he was on his way home. At that point I couldn't start watching The Situation/Sammie/Ronnie drama, or the Snookie hair pouf. So I went back to sleep. Todd got home around midnight and I couldn't even walk up the stairs. But thanks to my 8.5 hours of sleep, I feel pretty energized this morning!

**McDonald's $1.00 sausage burritos are the best breakfast ever invented. My thighs disagree.

**We have tons of fun and exciting weekend plans. Lunch with the Cutler's tomorrow (at one of my all time fave places, and the place that pretty much jump started several major turning points in my life -- my job, and my Todd) Red Robin. I can taste the ranch dressing already. (again, my thighs are frowning). Then tomorrow night is the Progressive Appetizer Neighborhood Night on my parents street. If it snows too much, we won't be able to go. Last night on the phone I optimistically (read: stupidly) said to my mom "will it be cancelled if it snows??" My mom said "no...we all live in the neighborhood...you'd be the only ones driving..." DOH! Then on Sunday, Mom and I are supposed to go to brunch at T's restaurant, followed by a mother-daughter date to see the Rockettes. I couldn't be more excited! But I'm seriously going to be shaking my fists in rage at mother nature if we get too much snow to continue with our weekend plans. Thank God for 4 wheel drive. Hopefully Todd's TrailBlazer can get us around on Saturday, and then Daddy's Tahoe on Sunday. (silent prayers)

**Everything at New York & Co. is currently 50% off. Last night I popped in on my way home to see if they had anything good, and as I was browsing the jewelry section, a sweet lady whispered to me "I was just at the Landmark mall NY&Co. and everything there is 60% off. They're going out of business. I called all my girlfriends in Florida and Georgia and bought them up some good stuff!" I thought the tip was super sweet...but didn't venture over there because Landmark mall in the dark is sketttttttchy. So I went home instead.

**I am almost done with my Christmas shopping. Think tonight I'll have to finish because if it snows the rest of the weekend, I'm up poop creek without a paddle...or rather up a frozen street with a teeny car that hates bad weather.

**Todd's working tonight, so if anybody out there (read: anybody I know, like, and want to spend time with -- so no skeezes or strangers please) wants to go to dinner and shopping with me tonight, I'd be pleased to have the company.

**TGIF. Three days of work next week, four days off, three days of work the following week, and another four days off. WOO HOO!

Christmas torture

I received the following email this morning:

To: Wifey
From: Hubs

VERY IMPORTANT- I have a package coming today. Yes, it is for you. But please don't look at it. You'll only ruin your own surprise if you do.

love you honey :)

Since Todd has had to work every single night this week, naturally I will be the one receiving said package when I get home this evening.

And considering I am uber nosy, it's going to take everything I have to not peek at the return address label to see where the package is from.

I did have to giggle at the fact that he sent me this email in the first place. He knows all too well that if he hadn't told me not to open this package, I probably would've ripped into it before I even had the front door unlocked.

This is sheer Christmas torture.

Dear Husband,

I just wanted to let you know that I miss you. Ever since you started your new job, we have been two ships passing in the night. Or maybe more like two ships passing out and passing gas in the night (but I hear that's fairly standard for married folks).

While I was in the shower this morning, pressing my forehead against the wall, trying to salvage a few extra moments of fake sleep (you know you do it too), a picture of last night flashed through my mind and I honestly could not remember if I fell asleep on the couch while waiting for you to get home, or if I had in fact gone up to bed and fallen asleep while watching Bride Wars for the umpteenth time, anticipating your arrival. I vaguely remember Whinnie barking (and possibly peeing?) in excitement when you opened the bedroom door. And I think I asked you if you had been home for a while, or if you had just gotten home at that moment. But in all actuality, I have no idea if those things truly happened, or if I dreamt them.

While I greatly appreciate that you are makin' the bacon (which I am contentedly spending on Christmas gifts), I miss our evenings of snuggling up on the couch to watch countless reruns of Numb3rs. I miss our gourmet hamburger helper meals. I miss how Whinnie used to sleep all evening because she had been so busy curiously following you from room to room all day. And just last night, our DVR told me we had better watch the 3 recorded episodes of Flash Forward that it is storing before it deletes them forever.

I know this will pass. Eventually things will calm down again and we'll be on better matching schedules. I just want you to know that now that you are back to work, while our checking and savings accounts appreciate what you're doing, as do our unborn children (oh sorry, that slipped out), I sort of miss you being jobless. Solely in a totally selfish IWantToSeeMyHusbandEveryFreeMinuteOfEveryDay sort of way.

I am so very proud of you and all that you do. Temporary job, or permanent career, I'm a lucky girl to have someone who so willingly wants to support me, and our future babies (sorry, that just keeps slipping out). And I would not want you to quit working just to satisfy my selfish needs (because baby has some selfish shopping and bill paying needs too, wink wink).

BUT DAMMIT -- This Friday night we're ordering Chinese food and watching 4 hours of DVR'd TV while we snuggle on the couch and Whinnie tries to stuff toys in your mouth -- because, DAMMIT -- I miss you.

Thank you for everything you do, love of my life!

I love you with all my heart,
Wifey

"What in the world??" or "My Butt-ler"

I was just going through some old emails that my mom had sent me, and found this little gem that she took of Todd and I at my brother's wedding (which happened at the beginning of October...yes, I never posted a recap about that...but I never posted a recap of my own wedding, so cut me a little slack).

I enjoy this photo for so many reasons, but I think my favorite part is the way Todd looks, dressed in his tux, so carefully holding his cup & saucer, as if he were my butler giving me a naughty pat on the behind for not appreciating his coffee service.

What makes it even better is the fact that when my mom emailed me this picture, she didn't write anything to accompany the picture -- just a subject that read: "What in the world??"

A lot of Guido's...a little awkward

Last night MTV premiered "Jersey Shore" -- a real-world-esque depiction of Guido's and Guidette's (yeah, I'm pretty sure MTV made up that word) sardined together in a house on the Jersey Shore for a summer. The premiere was a full 2 hours, packed with hair gel, terrible grammar, fake orange tans, lots of disgusting hook-ups, ridiculous muscles, g-strings, and several sets of implants. Seriously, it was horrendous. I. Could. Not. Stop. Watching. It was fascinating.

Todd worked a double yesterday and did not get home until about 11:45pm. With only 15 minutes left in the 2 hour premiere, you would think that I would focus my attention on my husband whom I have seen for a total of about 40 minutes all week. But what did I do?

I paused the DVR. Talked to Todd about his day for approximately 10 minutes. And then said "Sorry, I have to finish watching this before I go to bed." And then immediately followed that comment up with "but I swear I'm not really into it...it's just so disturbing, I have to watch!"

So as he (agonizingly) watched the last 15 minutes with me, all Todd could say was "this show is so awkward."

No, what's really awkward is that I can't wait until next weeks episode.

LOVE that Nu Joisy shore!

Black Socks

Last night I got to see Todd for about 35 minutes. As in we were both awake, sitting on the couch, watching (for the third night in a row) the tail end of "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" (only the best Christmas movie ever), and in between quoting to each other "WHY IS THE CARPET ALL WET, TODD?!" "I don't KNOW, Margo!" (our favorite duet quote from the movie), we had this conversation:

Me: What do you want for Christmas, I need a list.

T: Honey, we've been married for four months now. If you don't know what I want for Christmas by now, we're in trouble.

Me: Seriously? How am I supposed to know if you don't tell me! Tell me what you want for Christmas!!

T: Well, I really want some black socks... (insert huge grin creeping up on Todd's face, here)

So I socked him in the shoulder.

Some body's been reading my blog...