baby brain

My husband will probably pee his pants when he reads this post. As will my mom. But I have a feeling that they will both be peeing their pants for separate reasons -- anxiety vs. excitement. Guess who is who ;)

Let me preface by saying my apologies for not blogging in a while. Apparently when schedules get packed and things start building up -- you know, the time when I would have the most stuff to blog about -- I get writers block and can't get it all out. It's like I have this fear of forgetting to mention something, so rather than try to recap every single stinkin' detail of my little life, I'd rather devote entire posts to singular events or funny stories or little quips. Hence why I did not post any leading up to Christmas events, or any day of Christmas events, or any recapping Christmas events. Too much to divulge. Not enough time to divulge it all.

Moving on to the reason for this post.

I have serious. baby. brain.

Three days ago I read a blog (since I blog stalk people that I don't know) where a girl who had just recently gotten married this past spring or summer, just found out she was pregnant.

That very night I had a long and very vivid dream about being pregnant. Yes - I was pregnant. I was ecstatic. Todd was ecstatic. My whole family was ecstatic. His whole family was ecstatic -- you get the picture, everyone was ecstatic. In my dream, I LOVED being pregnant. So much so that when I woke up, I was sad that I wasn't pregnant.

Last night all I kept seeing on TV were commercials and programs featuring babies and pregnant women. My mom called me to tell me that my Gramma had exciting news and I should call her to find out. Gramma had her bone scan for her metastasized breast cancer last week, and I knew that I was calling her to find out that the results were good news, but my Grampa picked up the phone and when I said "I hear Gramma has good news!" he responded with "yes! Your Grandmother is pregnant". I knew he was joking (which by the way was HILARIOUS), but it just added to the pile of pregnancy overload that I've been on lately.

So today I was sharing with someone that I had recently been having pregnancy dreams and she told me that it was a sign that my biological clock is ticking.

Really?? We've only been married for 5 months! Why doesn't the biological clock sync up with the marriage clock and work out a sweet equation to give me the precise time that I should get pregnant at? Because while I keep telling myself we want to wait and we want to have a baby at the right time, is there every really a truly "right time"?

Don't get me wrong -- I'm the first to frown at the thought of stretch marks, size 42F boobs, and a huge ass needle being stuck in my spine to numb me from the waist down. None of that sounds glamorous or remotely enjoyable to me.

But a baby does.

Over Christmas I jokingly told Todd's mom that I semi wanted to fast forward through the baby thing and see Todd with grand kids because I think he'll be a wonderful grandfather. But then I thought to myself "shoot, my Dad is going to be an awesome grandfather!" Hot damn, our kids are going to be spoiled completely rotten by my parents, Todd's parents, and all of our friends!

Maybe the saying really will be true to form...and when the time is right...I'll just know.

In the meantime, I think I'll just stick to my pregnancy dreams. At least they're much less expensive!