Sick

The only thing I've done today is tend to my sick baby boy. He is lethargic, exhausted, and coughing like a 65 year old Marlboro Red smoking cowboy. the only thing he wants to do is lay on me. And truth be told, considering how busy of a two year old he usually is when feeling well, I am soaking in every single sweet snuggle and loving it.

Earlier, as I held Nick on my chest, I pushed the sweaty hair back from his feverish forehead, and tried to soothe his achy whimpers, and I couldn't help but picture myself - tiny and helpless, curled up on my own mom's lap in the middle of the night - sick and scared. I remember how the only thing that made me feel better when I was sick, was her presence. How breathing her in, with my head tucked right into the crook of her neck, was somehow more soothing than any medicine. And the gentle stroking of her fingers along my back were more healing than any doctor. She was the cure for any ailment.

And now that I am responsible for taking care of a little one - making sure he is comfortable and soothed - I realize he is also taking care of me. Filling a suppressed "mommy-need", if you will. The need to feel needed. And I realize now that just as my mom was giving every ounce of herself to make sure I was well taken care of, she was also secretly grateful for those middle of the night cuddles. Because she needed me. And she was needed.

I still wish I could curl up on my mom's lap every time I'm sick. But now it's my turn to provide the comfort to my own baby. And I'm loving the opportunity.

It's amazing how life has certainly come full circle.